Insemination Day

So Saturday was my insemination day and my gosh it was a tough day.

5 attempts to insert the catheter, my cervix was not playing ball. In the end the on call doc got it using ultrasound. Before all that pain though we had the great news of a 31.5million swimmer sample. Got to love Mr. B.

So I’m hoping beyond all hope that due to the difficulty of the whole situation that I deserve one of that 31.5mil to make to my egg.

Here’s to hope..

xoxo jess

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Good day

Just checking in..

Had my ultrasound this morning and it’s looking great. I have a good looking 18mm follicle on the right plus a few baby ones and 6 littlies on the left side.. My lining is wonderful at 8mm, exactly where it needs to be. Plus my bloods are showing I’m starting to surge so tomorrow will be our IUI day!! Yay! Trigger tonight then 9:30 for Mr. B’s sample and 12pm for the insemination.

xoxo jess

A day in the life of this IUIer. A cycle day

Cycle day 13, injection day 11

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Hands in the air if this is how u start your day.. Oh the joys of fertility treatment

So here it is.. A day in the life of this IUIer.

0615: snooze

0624: snooze

0633: drag yourself out of bed you have class in 2 hours and you need to get to the clinic and have your bloods done.

0650: grab meds and Probiotic drink out of the fridge. Set up today’s dose, pick a spot, swab it and inject yourself (Gonal F 75iu for me), drink your probiotic.

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0700: print off today’s lectures, grab something to eat, mmmm coconut and apricot muesli bar, and race out the door by 0715

0730: arrive at clinic for blood test fill out forms then join your fellow cyclers

0750: get called out back by the phlebotomist for your turn

0752: have said phlebotomist brutalize your arm in an attempt at using a new vein as the other looks a little bruised. Sticky dot over the offending stab site and a reminder to call for results at 1430 as your ushered out for the next victim. Resume seat in the waiting room as your meds have nearly run out and you need a new set.

0755: get called back by nurse to sign out your 3rd box of Gonal F for this cycle.

0758: head out to your car swinging by the pay machine on your way out (hooray to free parking before 0800). Race back home with your box of goodies to get it in the fridge before you turn around and race back to Uni in the vein hoping of getting a car bay this late in the morning.

0825: arrive at Uni and get one of the last 5 bays close to your building

Spend the remainder of the morning staring at the clock instead of concentrating on your lecturer willing in to speed around to 1430 so you can hear what the next step of the plan is.

1040: head back home to finish the assignment that’s due Monday instead of going to your next class.

1130: still writing my essay.

1430: call for results, get through first time.. high five!! My est is up to 750 yay!! Booked for my ultrasound tomorrow at 11am after morning bloods.

1530: save my assignment still got heaps to finish before I submit it and get ready to head out for acupuncture

1630: grab my keys and head out for my appointment with my lovely acupuncturist.

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1755: leave acupuncture feeling slightly more relaxed. Even though your covered in spots resembling mozzie bites.

1810: pull in the driveway back home, walk in the door to a disapproving state from Mr. B. “Don’t you know how to answer your phone? Where have you been I was getting worried” oh my wonderful man. “Acupuncture, it’s in the calendar and I told u earlier today”

1830: head back out for some shopping and to pick up something for dinner. Wish I’d remembered to take something out.

1930: return home after a successful couch return and new couch purchase. Arrives sat 🙂 sit down to eat my burrito and cram some last minute clinical skills prep for tomorrow test.

2130: pack up the computer, dump clean clothes into the basket to put away later, push the cat over and crawl into bed.

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1 down, many more to go

xoxo jess

Confessions of an infertile.

I’m a big planner.. I planned my wedding before I was even engaged, I planned my decor before we settled on our house and I am planning this baby before he/she is even conceived.

Every month I’m hopeful it will be our month, a few days after my period shows up and I’ve packed away the pity party I’ve been having and wiped the chocolate off my face, I look up my EDD, I plan where in the university year it will fall and what weeks I’ll have to take off.

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Being a midwife I know all to much the reality that 1 in 4 pregnancy will not make it and I so hope that when I see those 2 pink lines and my beta is confirmed that I will not be that one.

As the month goes on I begin on Pinterest searching babies and kids, pinning my heart out. I almost compulsively look for strollers while I’m out and google the brands I like the look of.

I have names picked out 4 boys and 4 girls names, sometimes others get added to the list sometimes others get deleted cause someone else uses it or I get a run of them on the ward. I don’t want my baby being one of many in his/her class with the same name. I was and it annoyed me to no end.

I’m trying to decide if I want to find out the sex or if I still want to wait for the surprise. When we started trying it was all about the surprise. But now I’m getting to the point where I just want to know just want something within my control seeing as the infertility roller coaster I’m on is completely out of my control. I lost control of that situation when I signed the consent forms for assisted reproduction.

I recently created an online baby registry during my last TWT (two week torture) I still can’t decide if it helped me or if it was just self destructive. I think I’m sitting on the side of helpful cause I like to plan and it gives me an outlet to plan. That’s why I like Pinterest as well I can plan..

I know what kind of baby shower I want to have, a couples shower with all of my family and friends celebrating with us. Celebrating all of the hard work it took us to make the little human that will change our lives.

I’ve even already decided where I’d like to give birth. At home, with my husband and my midwife, potentially some family and hopefully a birth photographer, I want to document every moment as I welcome my baby into the world.

Hopefully this month all my planning will be put to good use as I begin to grow a little person.

xoxo jess

Medicated

Cycle day 12, injection day 10.

Im am an emotional wreck this cycle. When AF came I cried heart wrenching sobs for days. This failed cycle was so much worse than all of my previous failed cycles. I think because I was so hopeful that I would be one of those girls that fell on their first IUI cycle. Plus it doesn’t help I have all these extra hormones racing around my body.

And the pain this cycle was really bad. Walk around with a hot pack stuffed down the front of my pants, a sticky hot pack on my back and codeine tablets in my pocket bad. Its hard to be hopeful when it feels like your uterus is trying to escape through your belly button.

This is why we get peroid pain

This is why we get peroid pain

The other thing i’ve been doing is picking fight with my husband Mr B. I went from being his mildly sarcastic but loving wife to this evil woman who picks fights every 5 seconds and has becomes an unreasonable mole who is likely to cry at any moment.

Luckily it appears my mood is improving, though I’m still pretty sensitive. Glad Mr. B loves me a smidge otherwise i’d be signing divorce papers right now.

Blood test at the clinic tomorrow. They’ll get a better picture of whats going after they put my meds up on Monday. Fingers crossed to a good response. Getting crampy so im assuming something is happening down there.

xoxo jess