Another announcement

I thought after my big revelation the other day (that I’m still young, I have time and we can delay further treatment until after I’ve finished Uni) that getting announcements would be easier.

A after work yesterday.

A: “I was told something today at work and It doesn’t really affect me but I think I should tell you but I don’t want you to be upset…”
Cue alarm bells to ringing in my brain. Who is pregnant was my instant thought.

Me: “ok… (Insert suspicious face) what is it??”

A: “you know co-worker A, well his wife is 12 weeks, they had their scan today and he announced it at work”
 I think I’m going to vomit at this point.

Me: “ok” tears start to build in my eyes, my throat constricts.

A: “don’t be upset, I’m sorry I know it sucks. I knew they were trying co-worker A told me in Jan they we going to try for a second baby”

Me: “so they fell pregnant their first cycle off the pill” the water work start really flowing now.

It takes me a few minutes but I pull my shit together. I’m trying to be nice so I say, “ok that’s good for them.”

A: “yeah it is but co-worker A was saying he was a bit disappointed it happened so quick because they wouldn’t be covered by their health insurance yet”
Are you fucking kidding me!!!!

Me: (insert sarcastic tone) “Oh how unfortunate for them their insurance won’t cover their Ob. Well our insurance barely covers our fertility treatment.”

Why the fuck are they going private anyway, I’m a midwife if you are low risk, I don’t see the point in paying through the nose for a doctor who will only be there for the last 5min of your labour then send a giant bill. When the hospitals midwife does all the hard work. Even when your high risk you will be referred to the City’s public tertiary maternity hospital anyway.

A: “Jess… Why are you being so mean about it. You should be happy for them. They deserve a baby. You should just suck it up.”

Me: “What don’t we deserve a baby. How can you not get it you of all people should understand why I feel this way! They aren’t my friends they are just people who have what I want, so I hate them for it.”

I don’t think I should have to suck up how I feel. I do that at work I’m not doing it at home. After some further discussion I think A understood where I was coming from. But I was so shocked that he wanted me to suck it up. We haven’t spoken about it yet and I think we have just agreed to disagree.

Damn the fertile people.

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One thought on “Another announcement

  1. Suck it up? I imagine you have been ‘sucking it up’ for a really long time, too long, and that is the problem. I get it. I completely get it. I’m sorry to hear how hard this is. xxx

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