Today was my first day back on the ward and its was non-stop all day long. I got to be a part of the birthdays of two beautiful little girls. It was so great to be back working as a midwife it further reminded me why I love my job. I found I was able to separate my personal self from my professional self which was so reassuring. I was able to care for my patients and their babies without thinking about my own situation. It wasn’t until I was standing with my second lady observing my preceptor assist her to latch her baby onto the breast and just watching her face as she gazed at her baby had feeling tight in the throat. I was able to hold it together. I was feeling very proud of myself.
When I got home my mum rang me to inform me that my cousin and his wife were pregnant. I cracked, I had held it together all day long but as soon as I got off the phone I cried. The worst of it all was that A is on late shifts this week so Im home alone feeling miserable.